The benefits of feeling seen and heard in life, and in therapy, have an incredibly positive effect on helping each of us cope through stressful or uncertain times. In fact, when it comes to what makes your therapy sessions the most effective, it’s the therapeutic rapport—feeling heard, seen and understood by your therapist—that predicts success.
The good news? The format of the session doesn’t impact the outcome. That means that while in-person sessions may be on hold for the time being, our video and telephone sessions have just as positive an impact as the times we spend sitting in the same room. The great news? Doing the session from the comfort of your home can increase feelings of being seen.
As therapists, we are used to seeing you and learning all about your loved ones, hobbies and spaces you feel safe in. Although remote therapy may lead you to feel vulnerable initially, it also allows you to deepen that feeling of connectedness with your therapist. How cool is it that you can be right there, comfortable in your quiet space, while your roommates or family do their own thing in another room? I think it’s great. The flip side of that is that your therapist too feels seen. You will see me at my home office, my taste in artwork or my pets wandering around in the room. While we could see these as distractions, we could also reframe that and use these changes as a way to deepen our relationship.
Needless to say, I’ve been reflecting on this idea of feeling seen as the world changes in response to the COVID-19 pandemic. The power of being able to share a moment of vulnerability can also be a powerful therapeutic experience. This can help us feel more safe and secure which is super helpful at a time when many of us feel confused, isolated, or in chaos.
In my work, I find tremendous growth occurs when we are pushed outside of our comfort zones. I’ve been privileged to witness this happening more than ever this week. From clients who have never used a webcam in their life, or those that were anxious to turn on their webcam for fear of me seeing them in their comfy clothes, we’ve moved through the fear together. We’ve broken down barriers to connection, perceptions of what “should” be, and embraced the ‘what is.’ How freeing was it to come away from a session with a sense of lightness for both of us, almost forgetting the anxiety that preceded only 60 minutes prior?
If you are a current client or a brand new client, I encourage you to challenge yourself to show up as you are in our new social formats. By doing so, you may not only feel connected to your world but may hopefully also feel more connected to yourself.