How Not To Sabotage Your Self-Care

How Not To Sabotage Your Self-Care

Several years ago, I received a speeding ticket while rushing to get to my regular yoga class. The class was important to me as it was part of my self-care regimen.

The combination of poor planning plus an inability to accept that I just wasn’t going to make it to class that day brought me to an important realization: self-care, or at least a hyper-focus on a self-care routine, can sometimes become counter-productive.

How Important Is Self-Care?

Self-care is essential for reducing stress and all its associated problems, both physical and mental.

That said, not everyone understands what it really is and many people aren’t sure what to do.

Here are a few places to start:

Dr. Kristen Neff offers some great advice in her book, Self Compassion. Her TED talks are also helpful. Guy Winch’s, Emotional First Aid, is another book that I recommend as well as his TED talks. For some further reading, I recommend this piece on self-care in the digital age and this list of self-care ideas.

Creating your own self-care regimen will help you to develop and maintain positive mental health and wellness.

You’ve Got This!

Self-care for ourselves or others can be deliberate and planned, but often we’ve already built some self-care into our daily routines. Going to the movies, talking to a close friend, or taking time to read a book can all be acts of self-care.

Self-Care vs. Self-Sabotage

Sometimes, we find ourselves avoiding discomfort by hiding under the guise of self-care. It can often prevent us from showing up, growing up, and increasing our self-efficacy and self-esteem. For example, is it self-care or avoidance if you take a break from study during finals? It’s a trick question, really, because it could be both.

On one hand, a break will give you some much-needed respite so that you can regroup and come back to your study with fresh eyes. On the other hand, too many breaks or breaks that last too long can be procrastination. It’s important to remember that avoidance keeps you stuck and prevents you from connecting to your feelings.

Ask Yourself: Is This Self-Care or Avoidance?

If the activity feels nourishing, helps you grow, and moves you forward towards your goal, it is self-care. If it takes you away from your goal, then it’s avoidance. Using techniques such as mindfulness can help you to acknowledge your feelings, and understand rather than avoid them.

Make 2019 the year you fine-tune your self-care routine (and avoid nasty surprises like speeding tickets).

How to Nourish Intimacy in Your Life

How to Nourish Intimacy in Your Life

Intimacy is a key component to feeling connected to others. As human beings, we all have an innate desire to feel like we matter, to feel that we belong, and feel like we are really seen.

When’s the last time you really allowed yourself to feel seen?

There are 5 types of intimacy that are important to nurture in our lives, to help us thrive and feel whole and balanced.

1. Emotional Intimacy 

Emotional intimacy involves sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings with someone.  Your capacity to be vulnerable is key to establishing emotional intimacy.  You can nourish this type of intimacy by opening up to someone you care about and trust.  Sharing with another human being the last thing that made you laugh so hard that it hurt or the thing that caused you to cry last is a great way to start up an emotionally intimate conversation.

2. Physical Intimacy

This level of intimacy involves physical touch like hugging, cuddling, holding hands, and kissing.  This type of intimacy can include sexual intimacy but can also include platonic forms of touch.  It can be deepened by communicating to your friend or partner on the types of physical affection you find nourishes you.

3. Intellectual Intimacy

Intellectual intimacy involves sharing ideas and thoughts about the things that you care about and matter to you.  You can strengthen your intellectual intimacy with someone by sharing with them your favorite music, poem, or book.  Organizing or joining a book club is also a great way to deepen this level of intimacy!

4. Spiritual Intimacy

This type of intimacy involves sharing awe-inspired moments with someone else.  Examples of ways to enhance your spiritual intimacy include taking a walk in nature with someone, engaging in prayer with a loved one, or joining a yoga or meditation class.

5. Experiential Intimacy 

Being able to share experiences with others is a great way to deepen your connection with another person.  Some fun activities you can share with others include trying a new restaurant with a friend, going on a movie date, and even taking a solo trip and meeting new friends along the way!In order to feel balanced and whole, it is important to cultivate each type of intimacy with the people in our lives.  Not every relationship will allow for each type of intimacy to exist. In fact, it is unrealistic to expect that a relationship with one person will include all of them.

Each person needs different levels of each type of intimacy.  If you notice yourself feeling a lack of connection in your life, it may be helpful to examine which types of intimacy the people around you provide and what is missing.

Warning: Taking the time to reflect on this will likely result in more connection in your life!

How To Cope With Being Single When You Don’t Want To Be

How To Cope With Being Single When You Don’t Want To Be

With Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I decided to write something personal that might help those who are single and find this day difficult.

My name is Melissa and I’m a therapist in Toronto. I often support Real Campus students, in addition to a wider group of people from all walks of life that are struggling with self-worth.

Do you know that longing we all experience to love and feel loved by someone?

For a long time, it was an all-too-familiar feeling for me.  After all, regardless of identity, orientation, or relationship preferences, we all have a human need to be loved.

I recall calling up one of my friends one night in tears and sharing with her the frustration I felt with dating, my unsuccessful experience with dating apps, and the sadness I felt because I was single. 

I recall calling up one of my friends one night in tears and sharing with her the frustration I felt with dating, my unsuccessful experience with dating apps, and the sadness I felt because I was single. 

Her response to me still echos my mind: “Being single is hard”.

That response felt like a game changer to me.  I suddenly felt a softness in my body.  I realized this whole time I wasn’t accepting the fact that I was single. Hearing her validate my feelings was just what I needed to realize that being single doesn’t have to feel so shitty.  I began to wonder why I was measuring my self-worth on the fact that I wasn’t in a romantic relationship. 

And then it hit me. 

I wasn’t in a loving relationship with myself. I was looking for something (someone in this case) outside of myself to validate my self-worth.  At that moment I realized I would do whatever it took to stop giving my power away and made a vow to create a more loving relationship with myself.  Over time, I learned different strategies that really helped nurture the relationship I have with myself.

Here’s how I did it. I share this with the hope that some of this will be helpful if you ever have felt like I did.

1. Talk to yourself in the way you would want a partner to talk to you.
 I still do this to this day.  I find it most effective talking to myself in front of a mirror.  You can look in the mirror, stare deeply into your eyes and say out loud (or in your mind): “I love you, I really love you.  I am so proud of you. You are so beautiful.  You are perfect exactly as you are.  You are enough.”  Notice any resistance you might feel in your body as you say these words.  It might help to soften your statements with “I am willing to love you. I am willing to believe you are enough,” etc.

2. Take yourself on a date! 
Why wait to be in a relationship to go out to that fancy restaurant you’ve been eyeing or watch that new movie that just came out?  I found that making time to go out with myself (and only myself) helped me really connect with my inner being and get to know myself better.  You can start off by writing down all the things you want to do with a romantic partner and go out on your own instead!

3. Make time to be physically intimate with yourself. 
It’s really important to get in touch with your body and allow yourself to indulge in all of your senses. I’ve found setting time aside to be intimate with myself through the use of aromatherapy oils and massaging lotions really help me foster a loving relationship with myself.

4. Buy yourself something to symbolize your commitment to working on your relationship with yourself. 
A good friend of mine did this and gave me this amazing idea.  She bought a ring for herself and wore it every day as a reminder of her commitment to herself!  She said she made a vow that day to marry herself and make herself her top priority.

5. Call a friend and voice/share your feelings.
Hearing someone listen and validate how I was feeling was what I needed to remind myself that I wasn’t alone and that it was okay to feel how I was feeling.  Sometimes just knowing that you’re not alone on your journey can make you feel safe and build trust in yourself to move forward with an open heart!

How to Survive the Holidays

How to Survive the Holidays

Ah, the holidays. The “most wonderful time of year”? As much as the holidays represent a time of rest, joy, and spending time with family, it also comes with challenges such as:

  • Feelings of loneliness from not having anyone to spend the holidays with
  • Having to spend time with family (can’t live with them, can’t live without them)
  • Milestones or anniversaries around a death or loss
  • Figuring “what’s next” when we’re in transition (e.g. between school and starting work)
  • Managing the holiday festivities including how to moderate drinking

Celebrating for One

It can be extremely hard to go through the holidays alone. There can be many reasons as to why this is the case including: being away from home for school, working in another city, having strained relationships with family members, not having a significant other to celebrate the holidays with, or simply because this isn’t a tradition or cultural period to celebrate; each of these situations can be challenging. It’s also common for people to feel more emotionally distant even when they’re in a room filled with people. The holidays can bring out our anxieties and can make us feel quite depressed.

It can be really hard when we’re feeling vulnerable to want to put ourselves out there and address our loneliness by being emotionally vulnerable. It is super important to give it a try and think of this as an investment into somewhat of a New Year’s Resolution. Some things that might be helpful include:

  • Be good to yourself. Just because you’re alone, doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. Cliche right? Well, it’s exactly that. You can choose to treat yourself to something nice for the holidays or you can choose to sit and think about how lonely you are. The choice is yours to make.
  • Say “yes” to at least one holiday invitation.
  • Challenge yourself to spend at least 30 minutes at a holiday event and socialize while you’re at it. Don’t fall into the expectation trap of “I should be here with a partner” or “my family is supposed to be here”.
  • Reach out to others and suggest or try an activity together. You can do this by posting something on Facebook or Instagram, sending out a quick text, or trying an event on https://www.meetup.com/cities/ca/on/toronto/ (there are also meet ups in other cities you can check out).
  • Talk to someone about how you’re feeling during the holidays. You might surprise yourself because they might be feeling the same way.
  • Pick someone you want to have a deeper emotional connection with and make an effort to spend time with them, talk to, or do something together.
  • Write down some holiday memories that were amazing and see if you can recreate some of them or make new holiday memories.
  • Be a part of the season of giving by giving back to others.

Sometimes we might try a few things and need some support from others. It can be helpful to reach out to family, friends, or a therapist. You might be able to enjoy a session with a nice cup of hot chocolate.

Getting Over the Family Holiday Dramas

As much as the holidays is a time to be spent with family, family can also be super complicated. Take “Home Alone” as an example. Kid is left alone for Christmas and has the time of his life, because no annoying older brother, no pestering parents, and no loud uncles, aunts, or cousins to ruin the quiet of our alone time. Pure bliss if you ask me.

Yet, for some of us, it’s expected that we’re spending time with our family. So, here are some survival tips for this holiday season:

  • Be realistic about what the holidays will be like. Many of us might idealize what the “holidays” should look like, remember that nobody’s family or holiday is perfect.
  • If things don’t go as planned, see if you can reach out to your supports to vent about how you are feeling.
  • Leave guilt at home. Being around family can bring up a lot of confusing feelings, with guilt being one of them. Be kind to yourself and try not to put unreasonable pressure on yourself.
  • Say “no” and set boundaries. Alongside guilt is the unrealistic expectation to say yes to requests over the holidays. It’s okay to say no in a thoughtful and kind way, and then for you to go about the rest of the holidays as you please.
  • Spend as much or as little time as you want with family. It can be super overwhelming to be under the same roof. Make sure to check-in with yourself and reach out to your supports during this time.

If you need support setting boundaries or talking down your expectations for the holidays, you can get that support through a trusted family member, friend, or therapist.

After the Death or Loss of a Loved One

The holidays can bring back memories for us when we’ve lost a loved one. These memories can be triggering and put a damper on the holidays. How are we supposed to have the holidays we’re so used to when an important part of that was to spend it with the people we love who are no longer here with us?

It’s important to have opportunities to express the loss you’re experiencing. You can do this by:

  • Sharing a favourite story about your loved one.
  • Have a prayer or moment for that loved one before starting your holiday dinner.
  • Light a candle in memory of your loved one.
  • Hold a place at the table for your loved one.
  • Start a new tradition.

Everyone grieves in their own way, so it’s okay to do something that feels right for you that isn’t listed here at all. You might also find different people in your life such as family and friends who grieve the loss of your loved one in a different way as well. That’s okay too.

It’s important to give yourself time and be gentle with yourself. You’ll have mixed feelings about a lot of things, and that’s okay. Let them out and reach out for support if you need it. You can also set boundaries with others during the holidays and excuse yourself from events if they feel too painful to be a part of.

It might also be helpful to have professional support such as a therapist or support group, especially during a challenging time such as the holidays.

The Dilemma of “New Year, New Me” Turning into “What’s Next?”

With the holidays coming up, it can be extremely daunting. For those visiting family, this means we might be back in the throes of curious family members and concerned parents who might want to know what we’ve been up to or “what’s next?” Yes, we know, it’s going to be a New Year, but maybe we haven’t had enough time this year to really have it all figured out just yet. Instead of being thrown into happy festivities, our family might bring up thoughts of “what have I been up to? Have I failed or disappointed them?”

Honestly, nobody knows what they want to do or what they should be doing, because if we actually knew then we would all be in perfectly happy jobs right after school. It really takes years before most of us can actually figure out what we like and that itself can change with time.

In the meantime, here are some tips to get you started on the “what’s next?” question:

  • Try things that scare you (no, we don’t mean sit in a room filled with turantulas). Think about the thing you want to do, “are you stopping yourself from doing it out of fear of failing?” If so, you might want to give it a try.
  • Identify the things you think you should do and then drop the ones that you aren’t aligned with or serve your happiness (e.g. “I should know what I want to do next year after school but I just want to travel” or “I should keep this job because I don’t know if I can find another job”).
  • Set the game plan with short-term and long-term goals. Think about where you want to be tomorrow, next month, 6 months from now, 1 year from now, 5 years from now, and 10 years from now.
  • If you were to imagine telling people what you did with your life while you’re on your deathbed, what would you want to say you’ve achieved?
  • Check-in with family, friends, and other supports (e.g. career counsellor, academic advisor, therapist, support groups) and explore your strengths, values, and interests to figure out your next big move.

And if you’re still feeling confused while being bombarded by all of these thoughts and everything everyone is asking, take a breather. It’s okay to take time to figure these things out. Plus, if it’s past December 31, great! Another year is on the clock before we need to go through this again.

Champagne Towers, Eggnog, and Other Holiday Drinks

The holidays are a time for relaxing, and usually that means lots of food and for those of us who are of the “legal age” of majority, that does mean having a few alcoholic beverages. It’s what we know in society as a way of celebrating – popping the champagne on New Years Eve is a staple image most of us see as a way to ring in the New Year. With that said, it’s important for us to think about how we are mindful and drinking smart at family events and holiday parties. Added bonus: it’ll probably also help with the calorie counting madness that may start come January 1st. (Yes, we’re going to quote some Health Canada now).

One drink is the equivalent of:

  • 1.5 ounces of distilled spirits.
  • 5 ounces of wine.
  • 12 ounces of beer.

The following guidelines can be used to limit long-term health risks:

  • women: 0-2 drinks a day, up to 10 drinks a week.
  • men: 0-3 drinks a day, up to 15 drinks a week.

When drinking:

  • Don’t drive. Make plans to sleep over, have a designated driver, or grab a ride with your favourite ride app (e.g. Lyft, Uber, taxi)
  • Drink water between each alcoholic drink so you can stay hydrated or have something to eat between drinks.
  • Practice moderation. Grab a straw and sip at your leisure. It’s not a competition. You’ll probably also enjoy your drink more.
  • Consider how you’re feeling when deciding if you’re in a good space to be drinking. Often feelings of anger, frustration, or sadness can be exacerbated with alcohol. As a general rule, never drink to numb your emotions. It will most often backfire.
  • Know your tolerance level, be realistic, and set realistic holiday drinking plans before an event where drinking might happen.
  • Think about who you’re drinking for. It can be challenging in a work setting or with friends or at home to say no to a drink if it’s being pushed on us. It’s okay to say “no, thanks” or grab a non-alcoholic drink if you’re feeling awkward without one (cranberry soda, perhaps?).

With that said, be safe and enjoy the festivities of the holidays. For those who need more support around their drinking, follow your 12 step program, reach out to your supports, and maybe give your therapist a call.

How To Eat Well When Your Wallet’s Empty

How To Eat Well When Your Wallet’s Empty

Look, education is expensive and the costs keep climbing.

Even with financial support or a part-time job, the reality for most of us is that being a full-time student also means being near broke. 

The stress that can come along with that is a strain on mental and physical health. It can affect mood, focus and memory, energy levels—  all very important variables in the equation of student success.

After lump-sum payments for rent and tuition, there can be little leftover with which to do that most essential thing— feed ourselves.  

It’s rarely talked about, but food insecurity has quietly become a serious student issue. Much more needs to be done to resolve it, but there is a lot happening already.

If you find yourself cutting out meals or putting nutrition on the back-burner because money is tight, there are options.

On Campus

Fact: postsecondary institutions can be complex to navigate.

If you’re not actively looking then you could miss out on some helpful resources. With a little scouting you might be surprised by what’s available. Many schools have on-campus food banks, and many offer part time employment for students with financial need, for example. If you’re not sure what’s out there, talk to an advisor or counsellor. Your tuition pays them to connect you with the right services.

At Home

Fact: that is far easier said than done.

It means less eating out, more time at home preparing food yourself, plus a little extra time and effort because— let’s face it— the cheaper foods usually need a little extra love.

That doesn’t have to be a bad thing! If I can share one recommendation here, folks, it is this: make friends with the unassuming lentil! That goes for beans, chickpeas, split peas, and anything else from the family known as pulses, too.

These nuggets of nutrients are versatile: they appear in cuisines the world over, they take on flavour from the spices, herbs, acids and sauces you surround them with, and add their own earthy depth and density to dishes. They’re great in soups, salads or sauces, pilafs, pulaos, or paellas. Best of all, they’re dang cheap for something so nutrient-rich! Best of all, protein-packed pulses are available anywhere, which means you can grab a can from the nearest corner store in a pinch.

Here’s a trick: in a favourite recipe that features ground meat, cut the meat down by half (or even entirely) and replace it with lentils or mung beans for their bulk and texture, plus a handful of minced button mushrooms for that rich, savoury taste (called umami) that we usually rely on meats for. Save a few bucks without sacrificing the deliciousness that you deserve!

Off Campus

There are food banks, soup kitchens, and places of worship that offer meals on site or non-perishables to take home. You don’t have to be on the street to use these services, folks. There’s enough for everyone who needs a good meal. Also, in many communities across North America, a new model is popping up to address food insecurity, called the community food centre. At your local CFC, you can eat fresh and nutritious meals, often made with ingredients handpicked from local community gardens and handcrafted by a staff chef. You can also learn and share knowledge about cooking, nutrition, and budgeting. FOR FREE! And, if you’re so inclined, there are often opportunities to volunteer, so you can support and stay connected to a community centred around healthy food!

Those are just a few options to think about. Use that student brain and get creative.

Most importantly, folks, if you find yourself going hungry, we encourage you to reach out. Everybody deserves to have access to the tools to take care of themselves. Everybody— including YOU— deserves to eat.

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Look, education is expensive and the costs keep climbing.

Even with financial support or a part-time job, the reality for most of us is that being a full-time student also means being near broke. 

The stress that can come along with that is a strain on mental and physical health. It can affect mood, focus and memory, energy levels—  all very important variables in the equation of student success.

After lump-sum payments for rent and tuition, there can be little leftover with which to do that most essential thing— feed ourselves.  

It’s rarely talked about, but food insecurity has quietly become a serious student issue. Much more needs to be done to resolve it, but there is a lot happening already.

If you find yourself cutting out meals or putting nutrition on the back-burner because money is tight, there are options.

On Campus

Fact: postsecondary institutions can be complex to navigate.

If you’re not actively looking then you could miss out on some helpful resources. With a little scouting you might be surprised by what’s available. Many schools have on-campus food banks, and many offer part time employment for students with financial need, for example. If you’re not sure what’s out there, talk to an advisor or counsellor. Your tuition pays them to connect you with the right services.

At Home

Fact: that is far easier said than done.

It means less eating out, more time at home preparing food yourself, plus a little extra time and effort because— let’s face it— the cheaper foods usually need a little extra love.

That doesn’t have to be a bad thing! If I can share one recommendation here, folks, it is this: make friends with the unassuming lentil! That goes for beans, chickpeas, split peas, and anything else from the family known as pulses, too.

These nuggets of nutrients are versatile: they appear in cuisines the world over, they take on flavour from the spices, herbs, acids and sauces you surround them with, and add their own earthy depth and density to dishes. They’re great in soups, salads or sauces, pilafs, pulaos, or paellas. Best of all, they’re dang cheap for something so nutrient-rich! Best of all, protein-packed pulses are available anywhere, which means you can grab a can from the nearest corner store in a pinch.

Here’s a trick: in a favourite recipe that features ground meat, cut the meat down by half (or even entirely) and replace it with lentils or mung beans for their bulk and texture, plus a handful of minced button mushrooms for that rich, savoury taste (called umami) that we usually rely on meats for. Save a few bucks without sacrificing the deliciousness that you deserve!

Off Campus

There are food banks, soup kitchens, and places of worship that offer meals on site or non-perishables to take home. You don’t have to be on the street to use these services, folks. There’s enough for everyone who needs a good meal. Also, in many communities across North America, a new model is popping up to address food insecurity, called the community food centre. At your local CFC, you can eat fresh and nutritious meals, often made with ingredients handpicked from local community gardens and handcrafted by a staff chef. You can also learn and share knowledge about cooking, nutrition, and budgeting. FOR FREE! And, if you’re so inclined, there are often opportunities to volunteer, so you can support and stay connected to a community centred around healthy food!

Those are just a few options to think about. Use that student brain and get creative.

Most importantly, folks, if you find yourself going hungry, we encourage you to reach out. Everybody deserves to have access to the tools to take care of themselves. Everybody— including YOU— deserves to eat.

How To Tame Your Inner Critic

How To Tame Your Inner Critic

As a therapist, I sometimes feel embarrassed to admit how negative my inner voice can be. Even though I practice and teach self-acceptance, self-love, and self-compassion when I notice myself feeling insecure and threatened, I can become judgmental and critical of myself.

What I have come to realize is that as human beings, we all carry an inner voice that can be critical of ourselves and others. I do believe we can tame this voice so that it does not lead to destructive behaviours. The key lies in what we do when the inner critic comes up and how much power we give it. I have come up with my own process for taming my inner critical voice that I continually use and would love to share with you!

1. Identify the inner critic’s voice
What is it saying? This first step is so important, and oftentimes we aren’t even aware of the commentary we have running through our heads throughout the day. I remember when I was first working on this process; I wasn’t even aware of the things my inner critic was telling me because of how much I was unconsciously accepting it as my reality. It’s important to take time to stop and notice what the voices actually are. They often show up as thoughts and statements we tell ourselves. Some examples of inner critical voices that might show up are I am not good enoughhe/she really doesn’t love me, or I am fat and ugly.

2. Once you have identified what the inner critical voice is, write it down in second person
For example, the critical voice of I am not enough would be written down as you are not enough. This process of re-writing the critical voice from “I” to “you” will help you to separate yourself from the critical voice and is a crucial step to help weaken your association with the particular statement (which will come in handy for step 3).

3. Ask yourself, who is this voice coming from?
What many people might not realize is that the inner critical voice is actually not you and didn’t even originate from you. The voices are often learned from the experiences we have had with the significant people in our childhood such as our parents, other family members, teachers, friends, and other societal influences that we have come to internalize and identify with. When I first started this process, I began to recall specific memories from my childhood where I first started to identify with particular critical voices. They were based on interpretations of how I believed my parents felt about me as a child and even things my peers verbally voiced to me. Recognizing that the critical things I was telling myself were not actually coming from me (and naming who it actually came from) really helped the voices lose their power.

4. Forgive yourself and the person whose voice you’ve internalized
This process is not easy. I still struggle with this at times. What has helped me in this process of forgiveness is remembering that each of us is always doing the best we can from what we know. Having compassion for ourselves and others helps us remember that most of the time, people do not purposely do or say things to hurt us.

5. Send the inner critical voice loving-kindness (and even gratitude)
When I become aware of a statement or judgment my inner critical voice is saying to me, I thank it for bringing itself to my attention to help remind me of the love and kindness I need to give myself more of. Because the inner critical voices are aspects of ourselves from childhood that did not get the love and attention they needed, I find talking to the voices as if they were a child to be very healing and effective. I speak to the voice and ask it what it needs, and then provide it (myself) those needs. In addition to this, I also make a conscious effort to reframe the voice into a truth, reminding myself of the untruth the voice represents. For example, if the voice of I am not enough pops up into my mind, I reframe the statement to I am enough and then engage in loving actions towards myself like doing a self-care activity.

I believe many people do not realize how much of our past we carry into our present. Our inner critical voices are aspects from our childhood that are desperately seeking our attention to be acknowledged, processed, and healed. By following these steps, you will notice that over time, you will grow stronger while the inner critic grows weaker!

If you feel you can use extra support in combating your inner critic, remember you are never alone on this journey. Don’t ever hesitate to reach out to a friend or loved one for support.

Plus, with your Real Campus benefits, we’re always here here as well.


Melissa Di Fonzo is a therapist based in Toronto that supports Real Campus students. Learn more about her here

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